Meet the Mexicans
Mexico, as one guide book author phrased it long ago, is not the United States.
This becomes obvious from the moment you arrive, yet people tend to forget. What is this with different money? Why do I need all these pesos? Why is everybody speaking another language?
Mexico is not the United States. That is why you go to Mexico. You go to find something exotic, something different, more than just a change in zip codes. While you are going to enjoy yourself, be prepared to find things are not like they are at home. Actually, if you are going to one of the beach resorts, things actually may be much like they are at home. In the resort areas, almost everyone you meet will speak English. Some will speak it better than others. Even the most modest restaurants and you should avoid any place that looks too modest have menus in English. And dollars are likely to be accepted everywhere. In some places, prices are posted in dollars. It depends where you are.
Speaking of restaurants — speaking generally — many do not start serving lunch until about 1 pm. By 3 p.m. most tables are occupied. The fashionable hour for dinner is 9 pm, but as long as a table is available, you can dine virtually any time. Long, boozy lunches that start about mid afternoon and may go on until mid-evening are a fading tradition, at least in Mexico City. Power breakfasts, which seldom last more than two hours, are growing in popularity. As a result, many fashionable dining spots now open in the morning.
Restaurants normally do not close between meals. In cities, the big meal of the day is taken at mid afternoon, followed by little more than a snack in the evening. At seaside resorts, however, the opposite is true. The big meal of the day is enjoyed at night, with nightlife hitting its stride about midnight.
Beach wear is for the beach. Mexicans tend to be more conservative and we are not speaking politically here than their neighbors to the north. No one will arrest you for wandering about wearing shorts or going shirtless (assuming you are male) in town, but the locals will regard you as a naco, sort of a clueless jerk.
If you happen to strike up an acquaintance with a Mexican, be ready to shake hands at every meeting. Women, on being introduced, often offer a cheek to be kissed. Be prepared. On occasions when North Americans shake hands, Mexicans hug. This is the abrazo, and, if you are meeting a business acquaintance for the second time, expect one.
North American? In Mexico, that is the generally accepted designation for a citizen of the United States of America, although it is, of course, inaccurate. Canadians and Mexicans, too, are North Americans. One can also be an estadounidense, or Unitedstatesian, but that, too, is not quite right. The official name of Mexico is the United Mexican States (Estados Unidos Mexicanos). So much for saying Mexico is not the United States. Gringo? Many are ready to take offense at that, although in Mexico the word is quite neutral. The people of Guadalajara call themselves Tapatios and folks from Veracruz are Jarochos, and take great pride in it. Gringo is not meant to be offensive. As for Yanqui, that is another matter.
Speaking of what to call people, as you may have heard, in Mexico and other Spanish-speaking countries, middle names are last names sometimes. Not when the individual bears two first names, as in Juan Carlos or Maria Victoria. Names are nombres, surnames are apellidos. On any official document, a Mexican is required to list paternal and maternal surnames, and in that order. Thus we have Juan Perez Gomez, who would be addressed either as Senor Prez or Senor Perez Gomez. When the paternal surname is somewhat uncommon, the maternal name may be dropped. Thus you hear about President Felipe Calderon, but only rarely about President Felipe Calderon Hinajosa.
All this can, on occasion, be confusing. Santa Anna of Alamo fame was Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna. So why is Lopez ignored and why is the man’s name Santa Anna when Ana in Spanish is spelled with just one “n”? No one ever has been able to explain that to me.
There is no equivalent to Ms in Spanish. An unwed woman is senorita, and when she marries, she then should be referred to as senora, although she continues to use her original surname. Thus the First Lady is Senora Margarita Zavala de Calderon, but calling her simply Senora Zavala is quite correct. Should she divorce, she drops the De Calderon, which had been optional anyway. Should Calderon die, she becomes Viuda de (widow of) Calderon. With women, one always knows where they stand. Men, as everywhere, are a guessing game.
Avoid first names and nick names unless invited to use them. Mexicans who have them are more fond of academic titles. Ingeniero, arquitecto and most prevalent, licenciado, are tongue-twisters you will come across frequently. Ingeniero means engineer and licenciado sometimes, although not always, indicates a law degree. Then there is don as in Don Quixote (Don Quijote in Spanish), used with the first name when addressing someone you are not on a first name basis with. Best way to avoid a pitfall is to watch, listen and imitate what others do.
This is especially true if you happen to be speaking Spanish. In Spanish you have the formal or informal constructions to deal with. Formal might be compared to “May I pour madam more wine?” An individual is addressed in the third person and referred to as “Usted”. It is best to use this form unless invited to do otherwise. “Tu” is favored for everyone by the younger generation, but Don Gaston probably would be affronted to be addressed as “tu”.
For more confusion, consider time. Not even the television programs observe it. A business meeting at 10 a.m. on Monday often means sometime Monday morning. Still, if that meeting is important, it is better to show up early than arrive late. I always bring along something to read. Mexico uses a 24-hour system, sometimes. It is like military time in the United States. Airlines list departures at 17:05, 20.16 or something like that. It takes getting used to.
The language barrier does exist. Translating is no easy task. Words that sound alike often have different meanings. “Pretender” is To try. We get that in English with pretender to the throne, but no where else that I can think of. My favorite is “pretendiente”, a young man who hopes to win a young girl’s heart. If he succeeds, they become “novios”, which means they are going steady or even engaged. A bride is a “novia”, but so is a sweetheart. “Esposa” means wife, but “esposas”, mean handcuffs. I know no other word for them. A bit of macho vengeance, perhaps. And why Quijote not Quixote. Why Mexico when in Spain it is Mejico? The “x” is either obsolete or traditional, depending on your point of view. Mexico always is Mexico in Mexico, but the capital of Veracruz sometimes is Xalapa, other times Jalapa. Jalapa is where jalapeno chilies (or chiles) come from.
The Rio Grande and the border extending west from El Paso is the only place in the world where a developed nation meets another — to be politically correct — on the road to development. Mexican poverty distresses many visitors, and there is no denying that many in the country are quite poor. The only encouraging thing to say here is that matters are improving, although not as rapidly as might be wished. One thing to keep in mind is that Mexico has the 15th largest economy in the world, and considering that there are some 135 countries in the world (if I counted correctly), that standing is not too bad. It only looks bad compared to number one next door.
Meanwhile, surveys shows, that Mexicans are more happy than their northern neighbors and, indeed, happier, too, than most Europeans. What can be wrong with that?